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~ With Jim Hallowes, the Founder of Highly Sensitive People ~
Here are some thoughts when it comes
to relationships. First, a suggestion: Take it slowly. We'll say it again,
because we think it's that important. Take it slowly! One thing we hear over and over again is that some
Highly Sensitive People have a habit of moving their romantic relationships
along a little too fast. It seems that women who are highly sensitive may be
harmed by this more than highly sensitive men, but highly sensitive men aren't immune, either.
We think it's probably because people with the trait of high sensitivity are so
often very intuitive and they feel a new relationship is "right" and may tend to
get intimate (sexually) too quickly. Unfortunately, often times "Mr. or Ms.
Right" turns out to really be "Mr. or Ms. Wrong." And, when highly sensitive
people move their relationships along too quickly and get intimate too soon, and
because of the hormone Oxytocin, younger women and older men often find themselves
"bonded" to a not-so-nice person. We hope this has never happened to you, but if
you've "been there and done that" you know what we're talking about.
So, again our advice is: Take it slowly! Next time, please consider taking it much slower and consider really applying your HSP's "pause-to-check" characteristic to these situations!
We think it may be because highly sensitive people process deeply and are so feeling-based that they tend to get physically involved with the new person in their life well before they really get to know them. Just as importantly, before the new person in their life can get to know them and recognize them as being highly sensitive. It takes time to develop the knowledge to navigate successfully and create a harmonious relationship, a relationship respecting, understanding and accepting each others; different traits, characteristics and temperament, whatever they might be. In addition, we also recommend you consider looking for equity in a relationship, rather than equality, and look for someone who complements your personality. Let's hear it for Yin and Yang!
HSP "Meetup" in West L.A. on Apr. 17, 8-9:30 p.m.
You are invited to our HSP "Meetups" in Los Angeles are held on the 3rd
Wednesday. To find out more about
the L.A. Meetups visit the Internet Links page and click on the Highly
Sensitive People Meetup link to learn more, sign up and join our HSP
Meetup group, and to RSVP for our next "Meetup." I'm also a Certified ASR™ Educator of the WANT® lnstitute and fully trained in Androgynous Semantic Realignment (ASR),™ Dr. Pat Allen's trademarked system of language and communication, so I'm certified to discuss her work, too.
Please note that Dr. Pat Allen's legal counsel has sent me a letter and has directed me to state here that: "The WANT® Institute is not affiliated with this website/newsletter and does not sponsor or endorse the content of this website/newsletter or the services of Jim Hallowes." and "ASR (Androgenous Semantic Realignment) is a trademark of the WANT® Institute."
We meet at the new SHARE Center, 6666 Green Valley Circle, Culver City, CA 90230 across the 405 Freeway from the Hughes Center, 8:00 p.m. until 9:30 p.m. Suggested $10 donation is appreciated to help pay for the room.
(Map to SHARE Center)
These are sure to be interesting evenings learning about and discussing the trait of high sensitivity. If you're an HSP, they'll be evenings of learning to understand yourself better, and if you're a Non-HSP you'll learn how to better understand the Highly Sensitive People in your life. And, because HSPs make up about 20% of the population, you are sure to come into contact with many of them, so why not make the most of those relationships; social, business and romantic.
These are sure to be interesting evenings learning about and discussing the trait of high sensitivity. If you're an HSP, they'll be evenings of learning to understand yourself better, and if you're a Non-HSP you'll learn to better understand the Highly Sensitive People in your life. And, because HSPs make up about 20% of the population, you are sure to come into contact with many of them, so why not make the most of those relationships; social, business and romantic.
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~ With Jim Hallowes, Founder of Highly Sensitive People ~
Some Advice for the Highly Sensitive Guy.
One piece of advice we give to all the single HSP guys we counsel is that it's important to have a well-rehearsed favorite
"opening line," such as "What brings you there tonight?" and we suggest that you
have it well-prepared and rehearsed, because that way while your HSP mind is
processing the all incoming data about the lady you see, you can say something
to her before she's already halfway down the block!
Also guys, we strongly suggest you have a prepared favorite "closing line" at the ready, too. Something as simple as "I've enjoyed meeting you, can we do it again?" Because when you have a favorite closing line, ready at hand, you can deliver it before the valet has the time to put the lady in her car and she's half way home.
As Dr. Pat Allen and her co-author Don Schmincke explain in their new book The Truth About Men Will Set You Free...but first it'll p*ss you off! (available through Amazon.com), "Oddly enough, some guys are afraid to pursue a female or even show they are interested, and this especially true for highly sensitive guys, and this frustrates women."
I'm happy to say that in the preparation of their manuscript, I was asked to contribute my thoughts about some of the problems sensitive guys experience in relating to the opposite sex, which they incorporated into the book. In fact, they even asked me to write the Foreword! Thank you, Pat and Don!
I'll repeat it again for you highly sensitive single guys: Have well-rehearsed opening and closing lines at the ready, and when you see someone of interest, use them!
Do you sometimes feel like you and your man spend most of the time "talking past" each other? Does it seem you're speaking different languages?
In many ways, it's true. In fact, psychological research has demonstrated that men are actually "tuned" to some kinds of communication, and much less tuned to other types. Brainscans have shown that certain words, in a specific order, can cause marked and measurable reactions in the male brain.
In plain words, there is an actual energy vibration that his brain scans which subconsciously makes him feel that he's in love. But this same research has also shown that very often, women are not "broadcasting" this frequency very effectively.
But it turns out that there is an easy, comfortable way to learn how to tap into this love frequency, and communicate directly with just about every man's basic emotions. A technique to open up the male heart, and almost overnight have a man completely turn around and start treating you as if you're the only woman in the world.
Okay, it sounds like science fiction. But so did the smartphone and iPad, only a few years ago. Science is fast overtaking science-fiction in the real world, and researchers are developing myriad ways of taking advantage of things they are learning to improve your life, your health and yes, even your relationships.
There Is a Way To Tune In on a Man's Love Frequency.
This technique for getting your man to connect deeply, emotionally with you is within every woman's grasp. Remember that guy you first met and fell for? The one who always seemed to know what you were thinking, and how to do all sorts of little surprising things to please you? Considerate things, like those gifts that he bought just because he was thinking about you?
Remember how the two of you could just cuddle, staring into one another's eyes, and how you seemed to be tuned into the same...well, frequency?
All that can be yours again. Because you can re-tune youir relationship back to his specific "love frequency."
It'll take a little work. It turns out every man has a slightly different frequency. But by learning to read specific signals that he gives off at various times, you can quickly learn what to do and say to tune in. Before you know it, he'll be tripping over himself trying to please you, and doing those little tokens that show you he loves you.
Best of all, you won't have to twist his arm or even keep dropping hints any more....because now, deep down, he actually WANTS to do them for you.
If this sounds like something you want to learn more about, here's the link to an eye-opening video presentation by relationship counselor Randy Bennett, and I strongly urge you to check it out. The relationship you save...might be your own!
Share this link ==> http://HighlySensitivePeople.com/suggests/MeltYourMan
FTC regulations governing website and disclaimers require me to state here that because Randy's website offers a product for sale, by recommending his site for the benefit of my visitors it creates an affiliate relationship if you purchase anything for which HighlySensitivePeople.com may be financially compensated. Remember you should always perform due diligence prior to making any purchases or commitments for goods or services from this or any other website or vendor.
This Is The Most Troubling News
Ever Put on the HSP Website
As a relationship coach I've met and helped hundreds of people, and I've also had the opportunity to meet and learn from many other coaches and relationship experts like Dr. Pat Allen and John Gray. You can learn a lot from experts, but sometimes you learn things that you really wish you hadn't.
Recently I learned something truly disturbing. And had to debate quite awhile whether this information should be put up here on the HighlySensitivePeople website, because quite frankly it makes me look bad. It makes me look bad because I'm a man. In fact, it makes all males look bad.
But I finally decided that the women in my world — especially the HSP women — really need to know these facts about how their relationships are working "under the hood," so to speak.
You see, what I learned from nationally renowned relationship expert Mike Fiore was that recently he surveyed over 20,000 men about certain issues in their relationships. He asked them a simple question to start: What is the one thing you desperately wish the woman in your life could understand about men… but you couldn't talk about?
First, because the guys opened up to him. They told him how they FEEL about women. They told him what they WANT from women (and no, it's not "sex" although that ranked right up there).
They also spoke out about what makes them MAD about women.
By the end of the survey, Michael realized that he had a research study that was probably more revealing than the infamous Kinsey Report. For any woman, reading this study will give you virtual X-ray vision into the mind of a man. It is such a penetrating analysis that at first he was reluctant to share it with women at all. He felt that to do so would be a betrayal of his own male sex!
But he finally realized that, as a relationship counselor, he simply had to share this intimately revealing portrait of the male mind with the women he counsels, because it will show any woman how to find out the real truth about how the man in your life feels about you… what he wants, and exactly what to do to make your man truly yours, forever.
Michael decided put up a video explaining some of the things he discovered, and for a limited time he's making it available for free viewing. I watched the video and my big takeaway was shocking. Because the survey revealed that the biggest reason men do some pretty unpardonable things in relationships is — because they're scared. Scared of women's… emotions.
It was an eye-opening revelation. So I asked him if I could put up a link to the video here on my website and he said okay, because these insights will be especially important to highly sensitive women who often have relationship issues with their less-sensitive men.
If you're a woman, you've probably been lied to by a lot of men. Lies about little things… and lies about big things. If you've ever been hurt by a man… or had your heart broken, or discovered after the fact that you had been lied to, you need to watch this amazing video to understand what was happening that you could never understand at the time. You will discover that, for your man, he didn't even realize how he was hurting you… because he was a man, and doing his man-thing at the time.
You'll probably get mad watching this video. Especially if it dredges up some hurtful memories from your past. But I assure you, you will discover some amazing truths about sexual relationships. And it's never too late to learn something new.
Share this link ==> http://highlysensitivepeople.com/suggests/WhyHeLies
And I have to repeat here that FTC regulations require that I state that when I share any website or service with my visitors it makes me an affiliate because the Highly Sensitive People website may be compensated financially, and that you should always perform due diligence before making any on-line commitments or purchases.
I also recommend this DVD from Therapist Dr. Pat Allen. Good relationship advice from a Cognitive Behavior Therapist who also happens to be a Highly Sensitive Person...
Our hope is that with additional knowledge and insights about the trait of being highly sensitive, you will be more aware, informed and in tune to what are often predictable behavior patterns. We wish you the best of luck! And, we'd love to hear from you and get your thoughts and feelings on this important subject of relationships.
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